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The Five Principles of Parenting

Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Let go of perfect and become a transformative, positive influence in a child's life while creating your own definition of success with this "wisdom-packed guide" (Orpah Daily) from developmental psychologist and podcaster Dr. Aliza Pressman.

"My go-to for how we all raise good humans, including ourselves!" —Drew Barrymore
In the age of high-pressure parenting, when so many of us feel like we've got to get everything exactly right the first time, Dr. Aliza Pressman is the compassionate, reassuring expert we all need—and the one whose advice we can all use. Already beloved by listeners of the hit podcast, Raising Good Humans, Dr. Pressman distills it all with a handful of strategies every parent can use to get things right often enough: Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair.

The 5 Principles of Parenting doesn't presume to tell you how to parent with "my way is right" advice because the science is clear: There's no one "right" way to raise good humans. No matter how you were raised, how your coparent behaves, or how your kids have been parented up until now, The 5 Principles of Parenting offers "accessible advice, reflective tools, and everyday parenting strategies" (Daniel Siegel, MD, New Your Times bestselling author) to chart a manageable course for raising good humans that's aligned with your own values and with your own children's unique temperaments.

Whether you're in the trenches with a toddler or a tween (because spoiler alert: the tantrums of childhood mirror the tantrums of adolescence), it's never too late to learn to use these 5 principles to reparent yourself and help your kids build the resilience they need to thrive. Through practice and normalizing imperfection, along the way you'll discover the person you're ultimately raising is yourself. By becoming more intentional people, we become better parents. By becoming better parents, we become better people. Let's get started.
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    • Booklist

      November 1, 2023
      In this uplifting, practical parenting guide, developmental psychologist Pressman shares big-picture principles and advice on how to apply them. When a 17-month-old likes to flush objects down the toilet, she is understandably fascinated by watching them magically disappear. To set this toddler up for success, keep the bathroom door closed and off limits until an adult can be there. In trying situations, including what to do when a 13-year-old arrives home smelling like cigarette smoke, parents can turn to the acronym BALANCE, for breathe, acknowledge, let it go, assess, notice, connect, and engage. Pressman's take on discipline: "All feelings are welcome. All behaviors are not." Parents need to be clear about expectations and come up with reasonable house rules, such as no electronics at mealtime. A divorced mom, Pressman reassures single mothers and fathers that they're not scarring their children. "It's long-term conflict--whether or not parents live together--that takes a toll," she writes. "It's critical the kids feel safe and secure." To raise resilient kids who flourish, parents should be compassionate toward their offspring, and themselves.

      COPYRIGHT(2023) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Publisher's Weekly

      December 4, 2023
      This discerning debut manual draws parenting lessons from psychological research. Outlining five practices for boosting children’s resilience, developmental psychologist Pressman stresses that parents should serve as a stable source of support, take time to reflect on how to best meet their children’s needs, regulate their own emotions, set limits on acceptable behavior, and go out of their way to remedy any rifts that arise between parent and child. She illustrates the importance of helping children develop a sense of autonomy by discussing a study that found children preferred to complete complex mazes over simpler ones because the greater number of choices was “inherently rewarding.” This doesn’t mean parents should give kids free rein, she contends, but caregivers instead might offer children a “choice about whether to brush their teeth or take a bath first” before bed. Elsewhere, Pressman weighs in on resolving sibling conflicts, regulating screen time, and helping children develop a healthy relationship with food. Her science-based suggestions are detailed and persuasive, and her tone is empathetic: “Doing the best we can more often than not” is “good enough.” Overextended parents will appreciate the astute guidance.

    • Library Journal

      Starred review from February 1, 2024

      Developmental psychologist Pressman (cofounding director, Mt. Sinai Parenting Ctr.; host of the podcast Raising Good Humans) believes, as many experts do, that there's no one right way to parent. To help readers find their own best practices, she offers five principles--relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair--that can be applied to one's own values and to one's children's individual personalities and temperaments. She urges parents to first work through their own dysregulation before turning their attention to their children. She gives parents permission to be B.A.D., which is her acronym for breathe, assess, and deal. Walking the talk is the objective, and Pressman assures parents they are doing an outstanding job. Yet, like a good coach, she gently pushes readers toward further growth. For instance, she encourages meditation, breathing, and reflection exercises, but she tells readers to focus on what works best for them. Her book also explores sexuality, emotional health, gun violence, racism, and much more. Each chapter features a Q&A section and applicable exercises. VERDICT Comprehensive and filled with ideas that parents can quickly translate into action. A remarkable addition to collections.

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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