Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans
November 1, 2023
In this uplifting, practical parenting guide, developmental psychologist Pressman shares big-picture principles and advice on how to apply them. When a 17-month-old likes to flush objects down the toilet, she is understandably fascinated by watching them magically disappear. To set this toddler up for success, keep the bathroom door closed and off limits until an adult can be there. In trying situations, including what to do when a 13-year-old arrives home smelling like cigarette smoke, parents can turn to the acronym BALANCE, for breathe, acknowledge, let it go, assess, notice, connect, and engage. Pressman's take on discipline: "All feelings are welcome. All behaviors are not." Parents need to be clear about expectations and come up with reasonable house rules, such as no electronics at mealtime. A divorced mom, Pressman reassures single mothers and fathers that they're not scarring their children. "It's long-term conflict--whether or not parents live together--that takes a toll," she writes. "It's critical the kids feel safe and secure." To raise resilient kids who flourish, parents should be compassionate toward their offspring, and themselves.
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December 4, 2023
This discerning debut manual draws parenting lessons from psychological research. Outlining five practices for boosting children’s resilience, developmental psychologist Pressman stresses that parents should serve as a stable source of support, take time to reflect on how to best meet their children’s needs, regulate their own emotions, set limits on acceptable behavior, and go out of their way to remedy any rifts that arise between parent and child. She illustrates the importance of helping children develop a sense of autonomy by discussing a study that found children preferred to complete complex mazes over simpler ones because the greater number of choices was “inherently rewarding.” This doesn’t mean parents should give kids free rein, she contends, but caregivers instead might offer children a “choice about whether to brush their teeth or take a bath first” before bed. Elsewhere, Pressman weighs in on resolving sibling conflicts, regulating screen time, and helping children develop a healthy relationship with food. Her science-based suggestions are detailed and persuasive, and her tone is empathetic: “Doing the best we can more often than not” is “good enough.” Overextended parents will appreciate the astute guidance.
Starred review from February 1, 2024
Developmental psychologist Pressman (cofounding director, Mt. Sinai Parenting Ctr.; host of the podcast Raising Good Humans) believes, as many experts do, that there's no one right way to parent. To help readers find their own best practices, she offers five principles--relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair--that can be applied to one's own values and to one's children's individual personalities and temperaments. She urges parents to first work through their own dysregulation before turning their attention to their children. She gives parents permission to be B.A.D., which is her acronym for breathe, assess, and deal. Walking the talk is the objective, and Pressman assures parents they are doing an outstanding job. Yet, like a good coach, she gently pushes readers toward further growth. For instance, she encourages meditation, breathing, and reflection exercises, but she tells readers to focus on what works best for them. Her book also explores sexuality, emotional health, gun violence, racism, and much more. Each chapter features a Q&A section and applicable exercises. VERDICT Comprehensive and filled with ideas that parents can quickly translate into action. A remarkable addition to collections.
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